I feel I am a very bad mummy....or my mind might be unsound. Sometimes I wonder how I can ever be a good mommy. My boy was throwing his trantrums yesterday night when I told him is time for bed and no reading story books. At 10pm, he pestered me to read him story book and I simply told him its late and I am tired. I promised to read few books with him tomorrow night. He became angry and hid his face at the side of our bed. I simply ignore him and lay down on the bed telling him to be good boy and come to bed or he can sleep on his own car bed. He ignored and i grew fedup but just ignore him. Then he changed position this time, head on my side pillow and leg across the side table. When i saw it, i scolded him and told him he better be careful as he will fall and knock his head. WIthout 5 mins, he tried to flip and then his head plong on the floor..it was quite a loud thud. I dont know what possessed me, I was so angry with him for not listening to me and causes his own fall. I actually shook him on his shoulder and scream at him for not behaving and listening to me and had a knock again on his head. What a terrible mummy i must have been...he already felt so painful and now kena my hysterical act. My mum heard the fall and quickly came over and put some ice and 'zam buk' to ease his 'baluku' on the head... Poor boy he was crying all this while at the other room, and I hid myself in the bed so i will not get hysterical again. Until the medication epsoide ended, he came in and I hugged him dearly and make him sleep. I told him he refused to listen to me and causes his own fall (i told him God will punish naughty boy when they refuse to listen)...and then i have to slowly rub in the medication on his head again and coax him to sleep. I still blame myself for being such a bad mummy ...what have come over me to react in such manner? I feel very tired...mentally!
» Postado por 10:43 AM
